Friday, April 1, 2011

Trikes and Trikers

On a motorcycle website, that I frequent, many of the members ride trikes. Often, some of them feel compelled to defend their choice of rides. Excuses range from, they are too old or infirm and a trike is their only choice all the way to trikes are, quite simply, better. I have ridden a few trikes over the years and even built one in the 70's. As a certified Boy Genius™, I have my thoughts about two versus three wheels. Of course, I am going to share them. The following are the reasons people ride tricycles.
1. Too old or infirm to ride a two wheeler.
No problem there. We all have to do the best we can with what we have left.
2. They have more carrying capacity.
Yes they do. There is plenty of room for a change of undies, tampons, your large collection of, douchey looking, do rags, nail files, Depends etc. How do the two wheel guys manage?
3. They're safer.
No they're not. Avoiding objects in the road is more difficult. Swerving between lanes, in an emergency, is out.
4. They won't fall over at a red light.
Oh Brother!! Maybe you should take a bus. What makes you think you won't just fall off the damned thing at any given time.
5. My wife likes it better than a bike.
My wife would like it if I wore a tuxedo, threw away all of my crappy T shirts and took up embroidery so I could keep her company. I'm keeping my testicles right where they belong. I love my wife, but certain thing are sacrosanct.
6. There's really no difference.
Uh huh, and sex with a man is just as good if the lights are off. Motorcycles, the kind with two wheels, are a Zen sort of thing. If you are a true biker, you know what I mean. You become one with your machine. Your brain is wired to the whole bike. You can feel the engine, feel the tires as they contact the road. The bike/man leans, counter steers, makes minor corrections automatically. The trike is a three wheeled car, a hermaphrodite contraption, a compromise.
Will the Boy Genius™ ever own a trike? Only if or when I fall into the first category, too ancient or stove in to handle two wheels. Of course, the extra room for travel essentials will be nice and, maybe, Wifey will want to tag along from time to time. Hmmmm, lesse, a Richmond 5 speed, a Jag IRS. You don't think I would take the easy way, do you?

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